But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
My life is a lot like Martha… This week especially has been glaring.
My wife and I went to a marriage conference last week. It was so great to get away and just focus on the Lord and each other for some time. We don’t get to do it very often, and it was really refreshing. However, this week has been full of stress, fear and struggles.
They are self-imposed. I let them start as we were driving home from 4 days of great stuff.
I was already tired, and my health is still struggling from some issues. But as any good Martha does, I pressed on and drove the whole way home. Instead of taking a nap and resting I drove the whole 7 hour trip.
The revelation of today started at the beginning of the year when I felt like the word that the Lord gave me to work on this year was revealed—“Rest”.
I am not good at resting. Pushing myself to the point of exhaustion and then passing out… I got that one down. However, resting? Not something that I have ever been good at.
I thought I was getting better at it, and I am overall. However, I knew when that was the world for 2017, that I was going to walk a lot deeper into what it means to “Rest”.
So, after 4 wonderful days I blow up over the stereo time being wrong on the stereo in the car. Why? I was tired, already wresting with the world’s problems, and expecting issues when I got home. I had no reason to do any of these things but, I chose to walk the path anyway.
As the week went on I took on more and more stuff. Much of the stress was caused by taking on other people’s issues, or things that I should have said no too, but, I didn’t. Instead, I pressed on and worked myself to the bone.
The next step for me in this cycle, is to start to feel sorry for myself. It goes a lot like it did for Martha making dinner for Jesus. Everything has to be perfect. It all has to be done a certain way, my way, and there isn’t enough people helping.
For me that usually will mean that I will work harder, then that leads to me becoming more exhausted. Then my relationships suffer and especially my relationship with Jesus. The whole time I am working myself into a frenzy and I feel like I am the only one serving Jesus, I am actually pushing away Jesus and everyone else. The hardest part to this cycle… I miss the very thing that gives me joy and peace.
It is my time in Jesus presence that brings those things. It is not serving more, completing more tasks, giving more and fixing things.
At the core of my problem is this… I have a God complex. I see the problems in the world, and I think I must be the one to fix them. So away I go. I don’t ask the Lord what He wants me doing. I don’t ask what He would have me do. I just start going and blow past Jesus in the process. From there the cycle goes downhill.
I am really tired of this cycle!
So for me—I am going to focus on “Resting”. That is going to include bringing Jesus into every decision, allowing the Holy Spirit to empower me to do each task, and trusting that God can handle the control thing, way better than I can.
Breaking this cycle is going to require me to quit trying to take over the throne, and instead allowing the King of Kings & Lord of Lords, to sit on the throne of my life.
As with Mary, I want to sit at Jesus feet, and listen to what He has to say. I want to let go of the stuff, the problems and the control and just REST.
How about you? Are you living more like Mary or Martha?