I realized a couple of days ago, just how bad I am at loving other people.
I was reading my Bible, and the Lord led me through a bunch of passages about loving other people. I realized that I do a really good job with some groups of people, but yet terrible with others.
For me I can relate to the broken and outwardly needy person. I can find compassion for those that walk in addiction and sin and need help. However, for those people that “should know better”, I have no patience.
For the broken people that look like they have life put together. Especially for people that go to church. They are the ones that really irritate me. The list of things that they have done to me and said about me is longer than Santa’s Christmas list. So I have a lot of reasons to hold judgement over them, and keep them at a distance.
The problem that I was faced with, as I read my Bible, was that I have to love everyone. If I don’t then I am not walking as Jesus did, and He and I will have an area of fellowship that is broken. Unless I truly release all people to Jesus, I am standing in judgement of them. That means that I am trying to stand in front of the righteous judge, and for sure can’t see His face any longer.
This is how relationships become messy. When I started writing, the one thing that I really felt compelled to do was to tell the truth. To share what is going on in my life and in my heart, and to be real.
Part of what I have a hard time with, in the modern church culture, is that everyone is “fine”. And in most churches a person certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable telling someone the truth about what is going on in their own life, let alone sharing truth or concerns about what is going on someone else’s life.
So all of this led us to leave the box church and move into a lifestyle of more constant fellowship, where we don’t have a set day, time or place to “do church”. It has been an amazing experience and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Living the lifestyle of Christianity is amazing, fulfilling and HARD. The hard part is when the Holy Spirit brings conviction on my heart for something, and then I have to work through it.
So the challenge now, is that the problem has been identified. The evidence is clearly in my favor. However, God said I don’t care about evidence and fault… I care about mercy, love and forgiveness.
Forgiveness because it releases me to give and receive love from my Savior again, love because it covers a multitude of sins (mean statements, rude comments, gossip, etc.) and mercy because it causes people to change. It even causes evil people like me to change.
Mercy was a huge part of my conversion. It was a lunch with a friend, who just shared with me what Jesus did in His life. Without judging my life, without beating me over the head with how Jesus was going to fix everything, without telling me how he had everything together… Because, none of these things were true.
He showed me mercy, just like I have to now show other people mercy. Not just some people, but all people. Not just the people that I can rationalize and see are broken, but also those that don’t know that they are broken… Even those people, who would fight being broken.
The issue is not them, the issue is am I going to follow Jesus, and if so then I have to choose to forgive no matter what has happened, no matter who was “right or wrong”. If I choose to forgive them I am walking right and if I choose to judge and withhold forgiveness then I am wrong. That is really the end of it.
So the journey now, is how to forgive those that have hurt, and those that continue to hurt? The real situation is that there will always be someone, which is in that place in my life of causing hurt, so I had better figure it out, or I will always be walking in broken-relationship with Jesus because of my unforgiveness.
The other consequence is that if I choose to with-hold forgiveness from people, I will eventually pay the price. I will be filled with anger, which will grow into hatred, which becomes another example to the world of how a Christian is no different than the rest of the hate-filled world.
I have chosen to walk in the light of Christ.
1 John 1:7 says “But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.”NLT
Because of my sin of judgement against people, even worse against a group of people, I am struggling with fellowship and am not representing the light.
I am heading into the light again and looking forward to the fact, that now that I have confessed my sin, I am going to find the path to forgiveness and healing, and eventually the restoration of fellowship in my life.
I am excited to see what the new part of this journey will look like, and the freedom that will come from it. Most of all I am excited to have a new area of my life that is shining forth light instead of hiding in the darkness.
How about you? Do you have people that you need to forgive? Do you have people or a certain type or group of people that you shy away from?
Now is the time to walk in the light of freedom and to see why Satan has fought so hard to keep you from that group!
Let me know if you need help. I am happy to pray with you and help you to find forgiveness and of course you can pray for me to do the same!
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